Kaj je AOOA?

PROGRAM, KI DELUJE

Srečujemo se, da bi v ozračju medsebojnega spoštovanja, delili svoje izkušnje in okrevanje. Odkrivamo, kako sta v preteklosti na nas vplivala alkoholizem in druge družinske disfunkcije in kako to vpliva na nas sedaj. Začenjamo videvati nezdrave elemente svojega otroštva. Z delom po dvanajstih korakih, osredotočanjem na rešitev AOOA in sprejemanjem ljubeče Višje sile, kakor jo razumemo, najdemo svobodo.

Otroci alkoholikov odraslih (AOOA) je dvanajst koračni, dvanajst tradicij program moških in žensk, ki so odraščali v alkoholičnih ali drugače disfunkcionalnih domovih. Program AOOA je bil zasnovan na prepričanju, da je družinska disfunkcija bolezen, ki nas okuži kot otroke in prizadene kot odrasle. Naše članstvo vključuje tudi odrasli iz družin, kjer ni bilo prisotnosti alkohola ali mamil; vendar pa so bile prisotne zlorabe, zanemarjanje ali nezdravo vedenje.

Zakaj smo prišli na AOOA?

Zdi se, da naše odločitve in odgovori na življenje ne delujejo. Naša življenja so postala neobvladljiva. Izčrpali smo vse načine, za katere smo mislili, da lahko postanemo srečni. Pogosto smo izgubili svojo ustvarjalnost, fleksibilnost in smisel za humor. Nadaljevanje takšnega življenja  ni bila več opcija. Kljub temu smo ugotovili, da je skoraj nemogoče opustiti misel, da lahko popravimo sebe. Izčrpani, smo se oklepali upanja, da bo novo razmerje, nova služba ali selitev zdravilo, vendar to nikoli ni bilo. Odločili smo se, da bomo poiskali pomoč.

Zakaj vstrajamo in prihajamo

Ob koncu srečanja skupine AOOA, se člani skupine medsebojno spodbujajo, naj »vstrajajo in prihajajo« na srečanja. Zakaj? Na srečanjih smo našli ljudi, ki so poslušali našo podelitev. Niso nas obsojali. Niso nas poskušali popraviti. Niso nas prekinjali, ko smo govorili. Rekli so nam le, da če se bomo redno prihajali na srečanja, se bomo postopoma začeli počutiti bolje. To smo tudi  naredili.

Kaj počnemo na sestankih AOOA

  • Z drugimi delimo, kaj se dogaja v našem življenju, in kako se spopadamo s temi težavami v našem programu okrevanja (tj. delimo naše izkušnje, moč in upanje).
  • Gradimo osebno podporno mrežo.
  • Svoje okrevanje in osebne meje vadimo tako, da služimo drugim.

Česa ne počnemo na sestankih

  • Ne govorimo drug čez drugega.
  • Ne kritiziramo.
  • Ne komentiramo tega, ne komentiramo.
  • Ne ponujamo nasvetov.
  • Ne odvračamo pozornosti drugih od osebe, ki govori, z besedo, šepetom, kretnjo, hrupom ali gibanjem.
  • Ne kršimo anonimnosti drugih.
  • Ne ponavljamo tega, kar se pove na srečanjih (v kakršnem koli kontekstu)

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Kako delamo ta program okrevanja

Posamezniki okrevajo v svojem tempu. Iz izkušenj smo izvedeli, da tisti člani AOOA, ki dosežejo največ v najkrajšem času, uporabljajo orodja za okrevanje.

Orodja za okrevanje v AOOA

  • Hodimo na srečanja in kličemo ljudi v programu, da se pogovorimo o temah okrevanja.
  • Beremo literaturo AOOA in se učimo o izkušnjah drugih, hkrati pa pridobivamo jasnost o naših lastnih izkušnjah.
  • Določimo in uveljavljamo svoje meje.
  • Uporabljamo in delamo po dvanajstih korakih in dvanajstih tradicijah.
  • Prepoznavamo, kateri ljudje, kraji in stvari so zdrave in koristne za naše življenje, in opustimo tiste, ki to niso.
  • Ponovno se povežemo s svojim notranjim otrokom ali resničnim jazom.
  • Sodelujemo s sponzorjem in gradimo podporne mreže.
  • Udeležujemo se srečanj, ki se osredotočajo na vprašanja, na katerih moramo delati. 
  • Služenje v AOOA.

Listening to others and ourselves share at meetings helps us in our recovery. Sharing at meetings sometimes helps us to focus, define and clarify our problems. We express our feelings. Talking out loud helps us to resolve some problems. We talk about our action plans to change our lives, or how well our current plan is working. At times we report our progress or victories. We often use meetings as a reality check on our overall program, comparing our current life in the program to our adult life before coming to the ACA program.

In the meetings we come to understand how our childhood experiences shape our attitudes, behavior, and choices today. We hear others talk about their experiences, and we recognize ourselves. We learn how we can change. We sense that within ourselves are people who are not who we were taught to be. Some people call these our “inner children.” We discover ourselves.

We read literature about ACA issues, often using the literature as life rafts. We hang on to what we have read when the seas get temporarily rough. Many of us write on a daily basis, finding that it helps us to put things into perspective for us. Some of us write to get in touch with our inner children. We write about our childhoods, daily thoughts, recurring struggles, and discoveries about life and ourselves. We write about new issues as they arise. We use ACA functions outside the meetings to learn spontaneity and how to have fun.

Gradually, we begin to recognize the negative parenting messages from our childhoods that drive our lives. We learn how to replace them with healthy behaviors. This is a first step toward “reparenting.” As we gradually reparent our selves, our outlook on life changes. We begin to look at it from an emotionally mature perspective. Ultimately, we become happier, stronger, more capable people – more able to handle life. We learn to respect others and ourselves. The quality of our lives improves as we learn to define and communicate our boundaries, and insist that they be honored.

We have learned by experience that those ACA members who make the greatest gains in the shortest amount of time are those who use the “tools of recovery.” We have also found that all of us recover at our own paces, and in our own time. We are individuals who come from varied experiences and backgrounds.

Membership

The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from the affects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family.

Literature Policy

Many Twelve Step programs require that only literature published within the program be available at meetings. The ACA program, from the outset, has held that valuable information exists outside the program. We do suggest that any outside literature brought into the meetings be in keeping with the ACA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Our program also suggests that such literature be kept separate from ACA Conference Approved literature. For more information on the ACA literature policy, refer to the trifold entitled, “The ACA Literature Policy.”

Contributions are Voluntary

No dues or fees are required for membership; we are, however, fully self-supporting through our own contributions. We give our 7th Tradition donations at the meetings as we can afford to, in acknowledgment of the benefits our program gives us.

At the meeting level our contributions are used to keep the doors open (pay the rent, buy the refreshments, make literature available), at the Regional level to keep the lines of communications open between Intergroups and World Service, and at the World Service level so people can find meetings. Each member has a responsibility to keep ACA operational by ensuring their meeting supports their Intergroup, Region, and World Service organizations.

Affiliation

ACA is an independent Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program. We are not affiliated with any other Twelve Step organization. We do, however, cooperate with other Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition programs. We are not allied with any sect, denomination, organization, institution, political, or law enforcement groups. We do not engage in any controversy, and we neither endorse nor oppose any causes.

A Personal Invitation

This is your personal invitation to come to ACA and to keep coming back. Your presence in meetings helps us in our recovery. We know that this program works for us. We have yet to see anyone fail who honestly works the program. This is our path to sanity, our program to serenity.

We invite you to participate. ACA works!

This is an extract from the trifold “ACA Is…”. And can be found on the Literature free download page. Reprint only for distribution within ACA or by written permission from Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization